March 30, 2005

Further Proof

I have in a previous post pointed out that generally speaking a majority of kentuckians seem to not know how to drive. That they must get their licenses from the express lane at Wal*Mart.
I Have further proof.
The other day when I got to work, there was a heap of junk of a car backed into a parking space with its drivers side wheels over the line crowding into my favorite parking space. Where I work we share a parking lot with a fitness center so sometimes I don't get "my" space. I was not going to lose my space because some idiot didn't know how to park, so I squeezed my little truck into "my" space. I'll admit that it was a bit of a job to get out without hitting the heap with my door, but I got out with a few inches to spare and didn't give it a second thought.
About an hour later this guy who was about half my size came stomping into my place of business demanding to know who owned a truck in the parking lot that fit the description of my little beauty to a T. I said it was mine and asked how I could help. He started in with "with all the open parking spaces, why did you park so close that I can't get in my car." (I've left out the expletives and other euphemisms for my readers with better manners). He wanted me to come outside to show me he couldn't get into his car. My boss followed to make sure this guy wasn't going to attack or something like that (he seemed that angry that he might do something rash). I offered to pull my truck forward so he could get in. He said that would be great (expletives deleted again). When I squeezed myself back into my truck, he layed it all on again about how stupid I was. I pulled my truck forward and let him get into his car and drive off. I wasn't about to stoop to his level by pointing out to him that if he had learned how to park in drivers ed, instead of Joe Schmoe's Driver's License for a Dollar Mart of Kentuckiana Inc., I wouldn't have apparently ruined his day to the point of going through those motions.
I hope he keeps going to the fitness center tho. He wasn't as big as I am, but he was rather flabby. And I don't think he's been working out long enough to have "'Roid Rage" yet from pumping all that iron and taking all those steroids.
I didn't let that episode ruin my day, I was happy in the knowledge that his license plate stated he was a kentuckian. That explained it all.
* again if you are a kentuckian reading this you are probably a friend or family member and therefore you are exempt from these tirades.

2 Comments:

At 7:51 PM, Blogger tunesnky said...

Josh you don't understand. You see the individuals that frequent the fitness center get off by admiring themselves in mirrors. I believe that you parked too close to his mirror, not his junk. You kept him from admiring his work in progress.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger grumbleghoul said...

Y'know, I never thought of it from that angle, however, the guy I'm talking about is a little far away from having any admiration for his progress. He was just a kentuckian on an ego trip.

 

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